Life isn't fair - but that doesn't mean it's bad

For years, I trained my brain to see the silver lining, to find the bright side, and to believe the cup is always half full. But recently, I found myself somewhere unfamiliar—my endurance for negativity was fading, and I didn’t even notice it happening. One day, I asked myself: When was the last time I woke up feeling optimistic, instead of fearful about what might happen or sad about what already had? I couldn’t remember. That’s when I knew something had to change.

In the past, when something bad happened, I’d let myself feel it, change what I could, accept what I couldn’t, and remind myself that to care for others, I had to care for myself first. I believed in the good—always more good than bad. I trusted that optimism could be contagious, creating a ripple effect of positivity.

But lately, the world has been showing me its darker side. And what scared me most was feeling that darkness start to take root in me.

I’ve struggled to understand why young people die, why some survive but are forever changed, why people get sick, why others seem to take joy in causing pain, and why so many live in fear. For the first time, I felt powerless. I told myself, the world is just a shitty place, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

And I know I’m not alone. Friends, strangers, even people I look up to have admitted they feel weighed down by the state of the world. I think the danger in that heaviness is what it makes us want to do—close ourselves off, toughen our hearts, expect the worst so we won’t be disappointed. I was heading there myself.

But please—don’t build that wall. It might feel like protection, but it will only block the love and support you need most. Accept the hug, even if you want to resist. Let yourself hear words of wisdom, even if they’re hard to take in. Talk about how you’re feeling, even if you’d rather avoid it.

If you take anything from this, let it be this: Your pain is justified. Your sadness is justified. Your grief is justified. No matter what it’s about. And you don’t need to earn the right to feel it. The only way through is to actually let yourself feel it.

Listening to Mel Robbins’ podcast episode When Nothing Seems to Be Going Your Way shifted something for me. She reminds us it’s okay to say life isn’t fair—it’s reality. I’d never let myself admit that before. Maybe I was scared it would make things feel too real. But when I finally did, it was like releasing a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

Here’s what I realized: I had been giving away my power. I’d started to see myself as a victim of circumstance. But no matter how unfair life is, we still control one thing—how we react to it. And that reaction is everything.

This doesn’t mean it’s easy. Navigating new levels of fear and pain is messy. Sometimes there’s no fixing what’s happened. But bad things don’t erase the good. They might cast a shadow for a while, but the light is still there, waiting for you to let it in.

So, let yourself grieve. Let yourself feel. But remember: You are still allowed to enjoy the good in the world. You are still allowed to smile, to love, and to let the light back in.