I'd Rather Be The Coolest Than The Prettiest, Any day

…Or the smartest, or kindest, or most creative. We get older every single day, and as much of a blessing as it is to grow, we lose control of one aspect, our physical aging. One day, we are all going to be old and grey, and we can look back and be so grateful that we chose to prioritize the important aspects of life, or we can look back and wish we didn’t waste so much time focused on our looks. 

At the risk of sounding even more cheesy than usual, we are so lucky to get the opportunity to learn something new every single day, to have the opportunity of starting fresh, and to try new things. We are so lucky to be able to express ourselves however we want, and to have passion, and love, and then be able to share it! 

Our looks are the least important part about us, especially when in comparison to how much beauty goes on inside of our brains. 

What are we really bringing to the world by trying to be the most beautiful? And better yet, how are we benefiting ourselves by prioritizing our looks? I have spent years being so caught up in the way I look, I was self obsessed for so long and there have been more days than i’d like to admit where I wanted to stay home because of how I viewed myself that day. 

It wasn’t that I thought people would only like me and want to be around me because of how I looked, but it was the fear of people noticing little flaws about me and judging me for it. Making me feel less worthy of other things because of it. 

Though recently, I had the kind of lightning-bolt epiphany that changes everything: I’d rather be remembered for my ideas, my words, my creations—my impact—than my outward appearance. Every time.

I feel really grateful to have a burning passion and love for creating, designing, and writing - that I get to style myself as a form of art. I am also aware that I am not the best in the world at any of these things, do I want to be? Yes. (at least one of the best). Am I determined to get there? Absolutely.

But the only way to get there is to keep growing, to keep focusing on what I love doing, and to keep my eye on what matters. Because it won’t matter what I look like if I have made the NYT Best Selling Author list, or styled a celebrity for the Met Gala, or better yet, designed and created a piece for a celebrity for the Met Gala! It will only matter that I did it; my name, beside what I put out into the world. 

Every second you spend criticizing the things you can’t change is energy stolen from the things you can. Growth, wisdom, ideas, kindness, creativity—those are the traits meant to evolve with time. Chasing eternal youth is a losing game. Choosing growth, maturity, and self-expression? That’s power.

Once you start honoring your ideas like gifts, they start becoming gifts. What you focus on multiplies. If you obsess over your looks, you’ll find infinite flaws. But if you focus on the kind of person you want to be, the joy you can create, the mark you can leave—you’ll multiply that instead.

And I will choose to focus on that every time.