Become Better, Not Bitter

Life is going to throw curveballs at you for no apparent reason. You’re not going to get the job you were certain was yours. Just when you’re finally on track with saving money, a fluke accident will bring unexpected bills that wipe your progress clean. Someone you thought you could trust will turn on you. You might get fired. You might feel like your boss dislikes you for no reason. You might lose people you love.

The list could go on, unique to each of us. We’ve all felt kicked while we were already down — but the way we rise from those moments says everything about our strength. And that strength isn’t about proving anything to the world. It’s about proving it to yourself.

From my own experience, the moments that felt unbearable at the time often became my greatest opportunities for growth — but only if I chose to see them that way. We all reach that inevitable crossroad: Do I want to become better, or do I want to become bitter?

When you hit rock bottom, you only have two options: stay there, or climb out. No one is coming to pull you up. They can support you, encourage you, and cheer you on, but the climb is yours alone. That was one of my hardest reality checks — realizing that if I didn’t do the work or make the tough calls, I’d stay stuck in a place I didn’t want to be. And bitterness lives in that stuck place.

The other unpleasant truth? The adversity you face isn’t anyone else’s fault, nor their responsibility to fix. It’s not fair to treat others as if it is. We are each responsible for our own lives, and using our pain as an excuse to hurt others is not strength — it’s avoidance.

Life-altering events we can’t control can leave us feeling helpless, furious, or broken. I’ll never understand death before its time — there is no neat answer for that, only the hope that a greater meaning exists beyond what we can see here. But I do believe this: the universe has a way of shaping us through hardship. These moments aren’t meant to keep us down; they’re meant to teach us how to rise stronger, set higher standards, believe in ourselves more deeply, and refuse to settle for less than what we deserve.

Spending too much time asking why things happen — why someone leaves after you’ve given your all, why you didn’t get the job, why it feels like people take more than they give — will keep you stuck. Change is the only constant in life. If we don’t learn to flow with it, we remain immobilized, clinging to questions instead of seeking the answers that come from moving forward.

If someone exits your life, it’s because their chapter in your story has closed — even if it doesn’t make sense in the moment. If your work environment feels toxic despite your best efforts, you’re meant to be somewhere else. If you’ve given everything to a relationship and nothing changes, the universe will nudge — or push — you out, because you deserve better.

Whatever happens, don’t let pain turn into poison. Don’t waste the moments that could transform you into a stronger, wiser, kinder version of yourself. This is your one and only life, and the universe is on your side. It’s sending you signs all the time — you just have to keep your eyes, heart, and mind open.